Losing it

This gospel was written for a Theology class at St. Catherine University. This post is meant to encourage and honor women who are recovering from abuse, and it was written with sincerity and honesty. If I can help one woman start to believe the truth about herself, it will make my heart happy.

The poem at the end of the gospel was also written by me about my healing process.

The Gospel for Women who are Recovering from Abuse

Shari Seifert

For women who are undergoing the process of recovering from abuse, I would like to share how the life, ministry, and death of Jesus Christ may help you find hope and peace in your own life. While hearing the good news, I hope you will consider these truths; that a God exists who loves and values you, who is deeply hurt by the wrongdoings you have suffered, and who can help you heal from the hurt and pain you have endured. In the following pages, I will share what I have learned during my recovery from abuse. I will dismantle the lies forced upon us by those who misuse their power, and I will share the truth depicted through biblical scripture. Whether your abuse has occurred in the distant past, or so recently that it is hard to imagine a different life filled with hope and joy, I believe the following gospel can help you.

Jesus of Galilee was born more than two thousand years ago, into incredibly humble circumstances. His human nature allowed him to participate in the realities of human life while teaching and showing his fellow men and women how to live a just life. Throughout his ministry, he taught, healed, and enjoyed fellowship with the sick, poor, and outcasts of society. Like the prophets before him, he sought to bring about newness and hope to all those who were suffering under a longstanding tradition of structural violence and control. As the divine son of God, His death and resurrection atoned for the sins of humankind and provided us salvation from eternal death caused by sin.

Jesus witnessed the sins of violence, abuse and oppression of his fellow humans. He fought against injustice and the oppression of marginalized, powerless people. Although the son of God proclaimed victory over death and sin, it still inhabits our human world in many different forms. Across the globe, harmful gender roles and stereotypes exist that leave women vulnerable to abuse, neglect, and oppression.

Those who choose to abuse and oppress us have filled our hearts and minds with lies. They want us to believe that we are worthless, incapable, ignorant, and expendable. They would have us think that somehow the abuse is our fault, that we have done something to warrant our suffering. We are told that we are helpless, that no one cares to help us, and that we are too broken to heal. Our abusers want us to believe that we are inept and worthless. These messages are spoken and portrayed repeatedly, so many times, that we firmly believe them. While the false messages may be fixed in our minds and hearts, the messages of the gospel tell a different story.

1) Jesus was born into humble circumstances

Joseph also went from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to the city of David called Bethlehem, because he was descended from the house and family of David. He went to be registered with Mary, to whom he was engaged and who was expecting a child. While they were there, the time came for her to deliver her child. And she gave birth to their firstborn son and wrapped him in bands of cloth, and laid him in a manger, because there was no place for them in the inn. In that region there were shepherds living in the fields, keeping watch over their flock by night. Then an angel of the Lord stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid; for see- I am bringing you good news of great joy for all the people: to you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is the Messiah, the Lord. This will be a sign for you; you will find a child wrapped in bands of cloth and lying in a manger.” And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host, praising God and saying, “Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace among those whom he favors!” (continues with Luke 2:15 through Luke 2:20).

Jesus was born into a world filled with injustice. His birth was the beginning of the fulfillment of a prophecy; an era of newness that his fellow marginalized people could hardly imagine but had hoped and prayed for was dawning. With the birth of the Messiah, the longstanding traditions of oppression and exploitation of God’s people were about to expire. The earthly kings and rulers would no longer be in power, for the Son of God would be bringing about justice and teaching about the kingdom of God. Not only did Jesus see the damage of sin against the people of Galilee, but he experienced it himself. Jesus understands what it means to be cast on the sidelines, pushed to the side; a member of the marginalized group of society.

2) Jesus values women

Now while Jesus was at Bethany in the house of Simon the leper, a woman came to him with an alabaster jar of very costly ointment, and she poured it on his head as he sat at the table. But when the disciples saw it, they were angry and said, “Why this waste? For this ointment could have been sold for a large sum, and the money given to the poor.” But Jesus aware of this, said to them, “Why do you trouble the woman? She has performed a good service for me. For you always have the poor with you, but you will not always have me. By pouring this ointment on my body she has prepared me for burial. Truly I tell you, wherever this good news is proclaimed in the whole world, what she has done will be told in remembrance of her.” Matthew 26:6-13

Soon afterwards he went on through cities and villages, proclaiming and bringing the good news of the kingdom of God. The twelve with him, as well as some women who had been cured of evil spirits and infirmities: Mary, called Magdalene, from whom seven demons had gone out, and Joanna, the wife of Herod’s steward Chuza, and Susanna, and many others, who provided for them out of their resources.” Luke 8:1-3

So he came to a Samaritan city called Sychar, near the plot of ground that Jacob had given to his son Joseph. Jacob’s well was there, and Jesus, tired out by his journey, was sitting by the well. It was about noon. A Samaritan woman came to draw water, and Jesus said to her, “Give me a drink… (continues with John 4:8 through John 4:39).

Jesus valued women. He kept company with women, sat down and enjoyed meals with women, and he healed women. He didn’t just preach to women as a group, he took time to speak with and teach individual women. He also chose to keep company with women who were labeled impure and outcasts. Jesus values all women, even (and especially) broken, hurting, women in need of healing. He values you and your unique qualities and gifts. You are worthy, loved, and cherished by him.

3) Jesus stands up for the oppressed

When he entered into Jerusalem, the whole city was in turmoil, asking, “Who is this?” The crowds were saying, “This is the prophet Jesus from Nazareth in Galilee.” Then Jesus entered the temple and drove out all who were selling and buying in the temple, and he overturned the tables of the money changers and the seats of those who sold doves. He said to them, “It is written, ‘My house shall be called a house of prayer’; but you are making it a den of robbers.” Matthew 21:10-13

The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim liberty to the captives and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who are oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor. Luke 4:17

Jesus focused his mission on the poor, sick, and the abused. He worked for the marginalized population to tear down the dominant system that reinforced slavery, repression, and injustice. Like the prophets Moses and Elijah, he fought to rectify and restore the imbalance of power and promote social justice in his time. He fearlessly announced this mission aloud, (during his Sermon on the Mount) as well as acting in ways that broke down social barriers and disrupted the royal consciousness. Although Jesus witnessed violence, and he suffered a violent death, he did not use violence to bring about justice. He is still a champion for righteousness today. Jesus wants you to know that he is here, fighting for those who have experienced the misuse of power and fallen victim to violence and abuse. You are not alone or powerless; Jesus is on your side.

4) Jesus heals

Then suddenly a woman who had been suffering from hemorrhages for twelve years came up behind him and touched the fringe of his cloak, for she said to herself, “If I only touch his cloak, I will be made well. Jesus turned, and seeing her he said, “Take heart, daughter; your faith has made you well. And instantly the woman became well.” Matthew 9:20-22

When John heard in prison what the Messiah was doing, he sent word by his disciples and said to him, “Are you the one who is to come, or are we to wait for another? Jesus answered them, “Go and tell John what you hear and see: the blind receive their sight, the lame walk, the lepers are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the poor have good news brought to them. And blessed is anyone who takes no offense at me.” Matthew 11:2-6

As they were leaving Jericho, a large crowd followed him. There were two blind men sitting by the roadside. When they heard that Jesus was passing by, they shouted, “Lord, have mercy on us, Son of David!” The crowd sternly ordered them to be quiet; but they shouted even more loudly, “Have mercy on us, Lord, Son of David!” Jesus stood still and called them, saying, “What do you want me to do for you?” They said to him, “Lord, let our eyes be opened.” Moved with compassion, Jesus touched their eyes. Immediately they regained their sight and followed him. Matthew 21:29-34

A leper came to him begging him, and kneeling he said to him, “If you choose, you can make me clean.” Moved with pity, Jesus stretched out his hand and touched him, and said to him, “I do choose. Be made clean!” Immediately the leprosy left him, and he was made clean. Mark 1:40-42

Not only did Jesus perform numerous healing miracles, but he has also given us a healing freedom. We have been given freedom from suffering for our sins and wrongdoings. When we believe that our sins and transgressions are truly forgotten in the eyes of the Lord, we can begin to heal. We can let go of our own sins and the sins committed against us. The gift of freedom from judgment, blame, and fear, essential to recovering from abuse, has been given to us out of a great love. You deserve to recover and heal. You are never so broken that you cannot recover; in time, you will heal.

5) Jesus shows the importance of prayer

When you are praying, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do; for they think that they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him. Matthew 6:7-8

In the morning, while it was still very dark, he got up and went out to a deserted place, and there he prayed. Mark 1:35

After Jesus had spoken these words, he looked up to heaven and said, Father, the hour has come; glorify your Son so that the Son may glorify you, since you have given him authority over all people, to give eternal life to all whom you have given him…(continues with John 17:3 through John 17:25).

Jesus taught his followers how to pray, as well as the importance of prayer. As these scriptures show, he engaged in public prayer and poured his heart out to God in prayer repeatedly. Just as Jesus prayed, so should we. Whether they are beautifully professed in a public setting or achingly whispered in a moment of broken desperation, our prayers are heard by God.

6) Jesus shares our burdens

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air; they neither sow nor reap nor gather in to barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And can any of you by worrying add a single hour to your span of life? And why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not clothed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown in to the oven, will he not much more clothe you – you of little faith? Therefore do not worry, saying, “What will we eat?” or “What will we drink?” or “What will we wear?” For it is the Gentiles who strive for all these things; and indeed your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But strive first for the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. So do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will bring worries of its own. Today’s trouble is enough for today. Matthew 6:25-34

Come to me, all you that are weary and carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for you souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. Matthew 11:28-30

Ask, and it will be given to you; search, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened for you. For everyone who asks receives, and everyone who searches finds, and for everyone who knocks, the door will be opened. Matthew 7:7

Healing from abuse can be a long and difficult process, especially when it is so difficult to trust others. Jesus invites you to lean on him and learn from him. He willingly shares your burdens and your pain. He reassures you that your future is provided for, and that you will be taken care of. He is with you throughout each step of your healing process, encouraging you during your trials and celebrating with you during joyful moments.

7) Jesus understands us and our pain

When Jesus saw her weeping and the Jews who came with her also weeping, he was greatly disturbed in spirit and deeply moved. He said, “Where have you laid him?” They said to him, ‘Lord, come and see.” Jesus began to weep. So the Jews said, “See how he loved him!” John 11:33-36

As he came near and saw the city, he wept over it, saying, “If you, even you, had only recognized on this day the things that make for peace! But now they are hidden from your eyes. Indeed, the days will come upon you, when your enemies will set up ramparts around you and surround you, and hem you in on every side. They will crush you to the ground, you and your children within you, and they will not leave within you one stone upon another; because you did not recognize the time of your visitation from God.” Luke 19:41

Jesus was human. He felt compassion, hurt, love, joy, and sadness. He grieved over the unrepentance of the people he was sent to save. He understood the agony of rejection and humiliation. Jesus wept over the distress of his friends, and he rejoiced in their happiness. Jesus understands you, and the pain and rejection you feel. He is deeply hurt by the injustice and suffering you have endured.

8) Jesus invites us to partake in his promise

Then he took a loaf of bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it and gave it to them, saying, “This is my body, which is given for you. Do this in remembrance of me.” And he did the same with the cup after supper, saying, “This cup that is poured out for you is the new covenant in my blood. But see, the one who betrays me is with me, and his hand is on the table. For the Son of Man is going as it has been determined, but woe to that one by whom he is betrayed!” Then they began to ask one another which one of them it could be who would do this. A dispute also arose among them as to which one of them was to be regarded as the greatest. But he said to them, “The kings of the Gentiles lord it over them; and those in authority over them are called benefactors. But not so with you; rather the greatest among you must become like the youngest, and the leader like one who serves. For who is greater, the one who is at the table for the one who serves? Is it not the one at the table? But I am among you as one who serves. Luke 22:19-27

During the Last Supper, Jesus described his sacrificial work that was drawing near, and he also emphasized the importance of serving others. He pointed out that his body and blood was given “for you”. While Jesus was speaking specifically to his disciples, we know the message was inclusive of all humanity, then and now. We are all invited to partake in the promise of salvation. He has shed his blood for you. He has given his body for you.

9) Jesus suffers

He took the twelve aside again and began to tell them what was going to happen to him, saying, “See, we are going up to Jerusalem; and the Son of Man will be handed over to the chief priests and the scribes, and they will condemn him to death, then they will hand him over to the Gentiles; they will mock him, and spit upon him, and flog him, and kill him; and after three days he will rise again. Mark 10:33-34

It was nine o’ clock in the morning when they crucified him. The inscription of the charge against him read, “The King of the Jews”. And with him they crucified two bandits, one on his right and one of his left. Those who passed by derided him, shaking their heads, and saying, “Aha! You who would destroy the temple and build it in three days, save yourself, and come down from the cross!” In the same way the chief priests, along with the scribes, were also mocking him among themselves and saying, “He saved others; he cannot save himself. Let the Messiah, the King of Israel, come down from the cross now, so that we may see and believe.” Those who were crucified with him also taunted him. Mark 15:25-32

Jesus suffered great pain, humiliation, and rejection during his crucifixion. He felt the horrific physical pain, as well as the deep emotional anguish of rejection. While the suffering of the crucifixion can sometimes be used as a justification for human suffering and mistreatment, this is not a truthful or helpful position of the crucifixion. It is easily refuted when we acknowledge that God sent Jesus to take on the suffering of humans because he desperately loves us. When we also recognize that Jesus was a great healer, it is easy to understand that he does not want our lives filled with pain and sorrow. Just as he reached out with compassion to cure people’s infirmities during his ministry, he also wants you to live the best life possible. The message of the crucifixion is that you are always unconditionally loved, not that you must sustain pain and agony caused by abuse.

10) Jesus is victorious

After the Sabbath, as the first day of the week was dawning, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary went to see the tomb. And suddenly there was a great earthquake; for an angel of the Lord, descending from heaven, came and rolled back the stone and sat on it. His appearance was like lightning, and his clothing white as snow. For fear of him the guards shook and came like dead men. But the angel said to the women, “Do not be afraid; I know that you are looking for Jesus who was crucified. He is not here; for he has been raised, as he said. Come, see the place where he lay. Then go quickly and tell his disciples, “He has been raised from the dead, and indeed he is going ahead of you to Galilee; there you will see him.” This is my message for you. So they left the tomb quickly with fear and great joy, and ran to tell his disciples. Suddenly Jesus met them and said, “Greetings!” And they came to him, took hold of his feet, and worshipped him. Then Jesus said to them, “Do not be afraid; go and tell my brothers to go to Galilee; there they will see me.” Matthew 28:1-10

With the resurrection of Jesus, the women and men who were mourning the loss of the Messiah were now astonished and overjoyed with this renewal and new reality. Jesus overcame the sin and suffering of the world, and rose victorious over death. The resurrection of Jesus not only gives us hope for the glory of heaven, but it allows hope for a new life, here and now. The exhaustive fighting, suffering, and worrying work of your life is a thing of the past. There is nothing more that you can do, because there is nothing that needs to be done. The grief has diminished, and now hope resounds. Now, we can experience renewal, healing, and a different life by simply believing that Jesus has done this great salvific deed for us.

When we invite Jesus into our lives, he begins to work with us and heal us. We learn the truth about ourselves, and we begin to show ourselves the love, forgiveness, and acceptance that Jesus bestowed on us. We put these practices into action in our lives. We strive to become better women; more like Jesus. We live out his teachings and messages and pass them on to our children, friends, and others in need. Through the resurrection of Jesus, we are transformed into new women. You are valued, worthy, and loved by Jesus. You have been chosen by him. You can recover and heal. You can rise above the suffering and pain of your past. You can live a new life, filled with hope and joy.

when the clouds roll in

she looks up to the heavens

and she waits

she wishes

she prays

she begs

for just one drop of pure happiness;

a fragment of overwhelming joy,

a tiny sliver of glimmering hope;

for a love so great

it would conquer her pain

wash away her shame

and give her something,

anything,

to cling to

until the next rain

when it rains

she sets her umbrella down

on the parched, forsaken ground

she stretches out her trembling, thirsty hands

her head bowed

and then she lets go

she dances

she twirls

she leaps

because she knows

the promise of a new life

is free

if she believes

after the rain

she sinks down onto the damp ground

and she smiles

she laughs

she sings

in thanksgiving

for peace like a river

for the life imparting rain

for a second chance

to laugh

to dance

and linger

in the miracle of the rain

Shari Seifert 2012

Losing it

Friday, September 28, 2018

Believe Women

Sunday, August 26, 2018

The one where I make some lists and admit some stuff

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

The Gospel for Women who are Recovering from Abuse

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